May 13, 2011
I Don't Want No Scrub!
I wanted to tell her, F*%# those kids, F*%# the coaches, and F*%# the parents in the stands saying “good job girls!” (But, she’s a Christian woman so I couldn’t come at her like that.) Really, your kid didn’t do anything! How in the hell was it a good job. Oh, I get it…..it was a coincidence that our best players just happened to trip running around the bases. Oh, it’s just by chance that our girls didn’t hit the ball today. Oh, it’s just by chance that our girls let the ball roll into the outfield. Man…..it ain’t by chance that your sister, daughter, niece, is sorry as hell! That is the issue.
Is it our team’s fault that y’all suck? Practice harder. Get better players. Don’t make us take a loss because your girls aren’t good enough to win. Tell them to try another sport! Maybe the coach sucked and they didn’t work on the things that they need to but don’t make our girls take a loss for y’alls sorry behinds.
So, if I get in trouble at home and my dad is going to punish me it’s cool to say, “Oh, thanks for whoopin my ass dad. I’ll see you next time. I’ll bring my A game and wear thicker pants.” Hell naw!
Y’all know me; I’m not in denial at all. My kid sucks. I attribute it to it being her first time ever playing but still, she ain’t no damn good. It is what it is. I promise you, I won’t be asking the other team’s pitcher to throw her some easy ones. Hell no! If she can’t hit the damn ball, her bad!
“Oh, excuse me coach…uh…my daughter is pitiful at the game of softball and it would make her feel so great if she knew y’all aren’t trying and are letting them win. Coach, her self esteem will be through the roof to know that you let her hit one. Coach, she won’t earn it but you making her know she sucks even more than she does will be awesome. Thanks, coach. I really appreciate you making her think that she’s a good player when you and I both know she’s terrible.” Hell naw!
I understand certain circumstances, I really do. I saw a story on ESPN where the other team let a blind kid hit some free throws in a game. I saw a story where a father ran his son, who was confined to a wheelchair, into the end zone after the other team said it was alright. I get those types of stories. Those are children who will never get the opportunity to compete in sports in a normal setting. Those are touching stories and I would do it in a heartbeat if I were a coach. But, just because you suck doesn’t mean that I am going to do it. There’s nothing wrong with your team other than the fact that they need to practice and work harder. Hell No! Not on my watch!
On a side note, she did ask why they have to shake hands after a loss. I was proud at that moment because I’ve always hated that myself. If I lose, I want to walk down the line and tell every person in the other jersey “F%#@ You and your damn parents!” So, I don’t even think she would want a damn handout. Gotta love it!