Just a Little Something Extra.....

You can follow some of my shenanigans at twitter.com/foshead.

January 14, 2011

Are they serving Filet Mignon at the school house?

Why do kids think they’re slicker than a can of oil?  Kids really try to pull the wool over our eyes like we don’t know what the hell is going on.  Don’t they realize that we were kids once upon a time? (some of us much longer than others but y’all get what I’m saying)

Doesn’t it just tickle you to death when your kids say “I was just about to” or “I didn’t know” or my favorite “I forgot”?  Fool, how in the hell did you forget and I just told you 27 seconds ago?!  How the hell were you about to when you’ve been laying the same spot for 2 hours?!  And, you didn’t know, how in the hell didn’t you know that it wasn’t alright to go over your friends house when I JUST TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULDN’T 10 MINUTES AGO AND I WALKED AROUND THE DAMN CORNER AND SAW YOU STANDING THERE!?
They get better as we all know.  I actually do love “I was right outside”.  Case in point, I said be in the house at 6:30 and you come in at 6:36 but because you were “right outside” it’s cool.  Hell naw!
I know I was a mess as a kid (still am if you ask certain folks) so I laugh at the majority of the stuff that goes on.  She’s only 10 so I need to embrace the small things because trouble is right on the horizon. TEENAGE YEARS!!!!!!
Part of the issue too is the fact that my lil mama is punking me and trying my patience.  She knows what she’s doing and she pushing the boundaries.  There’s an ongoing  issue with the cafeteria and the school calling me like a damn collection agency!
“This is the K**** ISD food service department and your child (insert name) has a negative balance of $2.95.  Please send payment with your child to school on the next school day.  Thank you” WTH!?
They call me like the damn IRS!  Anyway, lil mama eats a good breakfast every morning before school and packs a good lunch but lo and behold, she likes to eat the school lunch too. 
I have to drop her off at school early (around 7ish and school doesn’t officially begin until 8:30) and they don’t eat lunch until 12:55. Let me expand on that for a moment.  That is crazy as hell!  Why in the hell do those kids eat so late?  I’m a grown man and I can’t make it past 12 without starting to shake and need to nibble on a carrot or something.  That’s child abuse!  I digress……
So, she eats a nice breakfast before we leave, sometimes eats again at the cafeteria, eats lunch at 12:55 (ri-damn-diculous) and sometimes gets another lunch also.  That’s just being down right damn greedy!  It’s one or the other, not both!  I’ve sent her to school with an extra fruit or two or maybe a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for in the morning but she’s still trippin!  Being hungry is one thing but she’s being greedy and testing my nerves! 
It also strikes a nerve because my lil mama ain’t necessarily little.  We’re trying to watch what we eat and I guess when I’m not around to watch she’s going to eat.  Damn…..
What she doesn’t get and I keep telling her, “THERE AIN’T *ISH THAT YOU CAN DO AROUND HERE WITHOUT ME FINDING OUT”! Yeah, I can go online and see exactly what she bought and when.  The internet is a BEAST! So, lunch is $1.65 and breakfast is .95.  She’ll have 2 or 3 charges on there for $1.95 or .95 and told me “I bought a cookie.”  Fool, cookies are itemized too and they’re only .50.  After I almost bust her in her damn head down to meat under the white meat I had to laugh at that one.  But still….she’s trying to punk me.  So, what did I do you ask?  She has to eat nasty-a** school lunch until she decides that she wants to start bringing a health, balanced lunch again. Oh, and the catch, she has to use her OWN DAMN MONEY!  Hell, you got me spending money on groceries for lunch food and breakfast and then I have to turn around and replenish an account that I didn’t deplete.  HELL TO THE NAW!!!
She'll either get tired of eating soybean burgers and Salisbury steak pucks or run out of money trying!
Maybe if I were Cliff Huxtable I could send her to school with one of those big a** hoagies or a Bacon- Burger-Dog, but I’m not so I can’t.  But if I was…..


RealHustla said...

I have this exact same problem times 2. I let them keep a negative balance so that if they try to spend the lunch personal harasses them as well. Seems to be working. The negative balance ain't growing. Before whenever I paid it off it would just come right back because of some school policy to not deny kids food.

Juanette said...

I was going to say it's psychological and that she's not really hungry and is maybe masking food for comfort but I don't want you cussing me out saying "fool, didn't I say lil mama ain't exactly small, of course she's hungry!" so I ain't gonna say that. But I like what Real Hustla said, don't pay it off so maybe she won't be able to buy anything else. (p.s. you stoopid, got me laughing out loud ova here!)

Ms. Camile said...

lol why am I laughing so ahrd lol Oh no! She's trying to be so sneaky but it isn't working lol. This reminds me of the day that i asked all my friends for a quarter and ended uo with 5 dollars by lunch time and had a mini feast. Yeah, I'd nip this in the bud because kids are mean as HELL and if she ends up obese, she will get talked about. I mean kids will find anything to tease but dont make it easy.