Just a Little Something Extra.....

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December 16, 2010

If She Don't Know Me By Now....

I know it’s been a while but life with kids, life with me, life in general is crazy and there doesn’t ever seem to be enough time for it all.  Damn….
I believe the children are our future.  Teach them well and let them lead the way….Thank you Whitney Houston. 
However, if my child is my future, I’m up crap creek without a canoe!  I already have to sleep with one eye open.  She asked me about my life insurance policy the other day.  WTH!  She's 10! The older she gets, man……

My lil mama and I are polar opposites.  If I like white, she likes black.  If I want Mexican, she wants Chinese.  If I want to rob a bank, she won’t drive the getaway car.  Everything is like pulling teeth with her and I’m not ready for veneers yet!

I can’t get this child to crack open a book to save her life.  If I tell her to go study she looks at me like I just told her Hannah Montana was really a dude.  It’s like the end of the world if I ask her to do anything academic.  I am no Nobel Prize winner or scholar myself but damn!  I can’t get her to do anything pertaining to school. She’s been counting down the days until the break and it’s finally here.  To top it off, SHE CAN’T WAIT TO BE RID OF ME!

I say that because she usually goes to her grandmother’s house when I have to work.  That is where she was living before she came to stay with me and that is her haven.  It’s a good thing but it hurts my feelings to know that she hates being her with me.  Over the Thanksgiving break she literally cried when she had to come home.  I’m a big boy but my feelings were really hurt. 

Truth is, I would hate living with me too.  I know I’m hard but I’m hard because I want her to be better.  I want her to be a better student. I want her to be a cleaner individual.  I want her to be more tactful.  I want her to be more self-sufficient so she can leave me the hell alone sometimes!  I swear that she has a proximity disorder.  If I’m sitting on the couch, she’s sitting on the couch 2 inches from me.  If I’m in the kitchen, she’s peering over my shoulder in the kitchen.  She has separation anxiety or something.  If I’m more than 2 feet away, she goes into panic mode! (I’m joking but she is always in the mix like Bruhman from the 5th floor)
I just want her to be better and my idea of better is a little overbearing.  I know she’s sick of me and I’m trying to tone it down but it’s hard.

Side note….funny story.  Lil mama and I were in the mall a few weeks back and I ran into an old class mate.  I hadn’t seen this cat in over 10 years so we chopped it up for at least 15 minutes.  After we laughed and caught up we exchanged numbers and bid one another farewell.  As my daughter and I were walking away she turns to me and says “Daddy, I don’t know why you took that man’s phone number, you know you aren’t going to call him.”  I looked at her like, Damn…..she was right, I NEVER call anyone when I say I am so I wasted 15 minutes of my life.  Damn shame how well my kid knows me.  Too bad I not more like Cliff Huxtable.  


Tiffanie said...

Lil mama can't stand to be around you and when she's around you, she can't stand to be apart from you.

Maybe you can take some solace in knowing that she loves you & enjoys your company EVEN if she doesn't realize it herself.

So far, your relationship sounds like that between my sister & my dad. Her mother/his wife died and he raised my sis from 10 'til 16 until he remarried.

She couldn't stand him. Couldn't wait to go to her granny's house (her mom's mother) where she was spoiled.

They fussed & argued like cats & dogs. But she can't stand to be apart from him either.

She even asked me if there was a way she could get the insurance money (when she turned 18) without my dad's interference so that she could go live her own life.

Years later (she's post-college now & living in a different state), she calls my dad daily.

Keep at it. Maybe try some different tactics?

Anonymous said...

I don't get it. She hates to be around you but at the same time can't be away from you? Which one.

Sit down with her to study. She may be confused about what to do. How to approach it all. Set up milestones and rewards for when she meets those milestone. I.e. "if we can complete these two worksheets we can go to the movies."

Of course the milestones will coorelate with whatever she's interested in that you consider and indulgence.

Sha Boogie said...

I couldn't get my mother's 'lessons' until I was older and hated them growing up! But now.. I'm like wow.. So, give her time, lil mama will come around and appreciate it sooner, or later.

Dave said...

Hey bribery seems to work for me, cash for grades lol

Ace_Coleman said...

Hang in there Bro....James 1:2-8


Ms. Camile said...

New to our blog. Dave sent me lol. Hola! Your lil girl sounds like a regular 13 year old but she's only ten lol. Maybe she needs some other activities like dance class if she isn't involved already. Or piano. Piano teaches discipline and focus. Just a suggestion.