All the ups and downs of being the father of a pre-teen who doesn't like me and I can't say whether or not I like her either. The police are on speed dial on my phone and CPS is on speed dial on hers. One way or another, we are going to make this thing work!
Teach me how to study, teach me, teach me how to study.....
First off, let me say thank you to all of the readers.I do appreciate all of your kind words and support.Those words go a long way.
Well, on to why we have a new post today.School!I’ll go on record by saying that I wasn’t the most astute student in the world but that wasn’t until high school.In elementary, everything was pretty steady as she goes.It doesn’t seem that way with my lil mama.DAMN!I will say this though, I don’t recall doing some of the stuff that they do now when I was in the 5th grade.Maybe I was in the slow class and didn’t know it but it seemed like we were still trying to color in the lines and count to 20.Lil mama comes home with questions about how to balance a check book and what is the diameter of the hypothalamus gland. (Well, maybe not that intese but I'm just sayin.....) In the 5th damn grade!
With that said, I still don’t settle or accept mediocre grades.I at least expect you to get all B’s.I would love for you to be a straight A student but I don’t expect you to be able to build me a rocket.It doesn’t take much to be a C student and that is what she aspires to be.HELL NAW!
I’ll be honest, math isn’t my thing.I went to school and studied English.I’m born in Indiana, raised in Texas, never left the country, and have a degree in English.I challenged the hell out of myself, huh?So, I can read, check.I can write, check. I can speak the English language, check.Hell yeah I’ll get a University to say that I’m an accomplished academic in this.
Enough about me…like I said, math isn’t my thing so I empathize with my lil mama and her math grades but a damn D in Social Studies.Social Studies?That’s like failing recess!All you do is read, write, and recall.There are no equations.No formulas.No theories.You just need to remember who went were, when and why.That’s it!I asked her about the French Inquisition and she wanted to go to La Madeline.WTH?
Ask my lil mama what happened on one of those Madea movies and she’ll quote every line.Tell her to teach you how to Dougie and she will call Dougie and break out into a routine with him on the line.Ask her about Justin Bieber and she’ll tell you how warm he likes his soup but ask her about a damn fraction….Child Please!
I know there are more avenues out there.Tutoring, learning centers, on-line programs; I get that.My issue is with my child being alright with mediocrity.She doesn’t even try.I said, “Shag, go and read a book, do something different.”At that moment, I think I saw a portion of her brain ooze out of her ear and drip on to her shirt.It was like I asked her kill a kitten or something but just at that moment….the phone rang. The sky opened, the sun came out, the sea parted, she woke up out of her trance like she had found the last golden ticket and Willy Wonka was at the damn door. I think I popped a blood vessel telling her to get her damn ass off the phone! WTH?
Maybe I’m tripping.Maybe I am being too hard.Maybe I need to just let her do her thing in hopes that she comes around.Maybe I need to drink more and worry less.Maybe I just need to be more like Cliff Huxtable…..