Just a Little Something Extra.....

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April 4, 2013

"The U"

I know some of you saw the title of this post and immediately thought of the Miami Hurricanes.  Some of you had thoughts of Michael Irvin, Warren Sapp, or even The Rock.  Well my friends, I am not even almost talking about that famous Florida university.  However, I am talking about school.
As is my hope, all of you who read this attended some version of elementary or middle school during your time on earth.  During your time there, you were graded on conduct as well as your grades.  Your grades ranged from A to F.  “A” being the best and “F” being the worst.  Conduct was based on a scale of E to U.  “E” being the best and “U” being the absolute worst.  Basically, a U was like the equivalent of having a 50 for the semester.  It means you went out of your way to be a complete a**hole and disruption to the class.  Well, all of that said will now bring me to my point….
How in the hell does a 12 year old child get a U?  I’m just saying.  So, I check lil mama’s grades periodically and this fool has a U.  Hell, she got a U on her damn report card.  Really?  I’m still trying to figure out what the hell she had to have been doing to get a U.  There are more than a few educators in my life and ALL of them acknowledge that getting a U is almost impossible.  It means that you are in class slapping kids, watching porn, cooking dope, and making moonshine.  I mean seriously, you have to be doing some ratchet things to get a damn U.
Speaking of ratchet, why in the hell does my kid insist on trying to be ratchet?  Does she have some ratchet ways and or tendencies, of course.  Does she see ratchet behavior from time to time, you bet she does.  However, you’re a spoiled brat who would be scared of your own shadow in a well lit room, full of people, with a gun in hand and a police officer by your side.  Ma’am, sit yo wanna be hood a** down somewhere and learn something!  This little girl has me HOT!  On top of the fact that you at school doing God knows what, the U that you have managed to get has a direct correlation to the poor grades you’re receiving.  “Keep yo mind in them books and off them  gals” (in my Robin Harris from House Party voice) Even though I’m pretty damn sure here quick, not fast, a** is thinking about a damn boy that probably can’t even read! 
Okay, I digress y’all.  I went off the radar with my blogging a while back because things happened and lil mama doesn’t live with me anymore.  I won’t go into that but I would split her head down to the white meat if she was still living with me and acting a fool like that.  (Note: when she lived with me, her grades and conduct were up to par….just saying) I tolerate a lot of things but being a dummy is something I can’t deal with. 
I know my kid isn’t dumb because of some of extravagant lies she used to tell. (read some of my previous posts and you’ll get it) It’s hard for me to impose my will or be strict from a distance but from what I was told, everything was cool.  Fine.  I will fall back and pray that my child doesn’t end up a meth dealer, a female pimp, a circus performer, a crash dummy, or a librarian. (not sure why I added that but librarians are creepy….just sayin) Notice I didn’t say stripper.  Strippers make good money and I may need to hit her up for a loan.  You never know.

I’m sure Cliff would be up at the school having a conference with Mrs. Westlake, I ain’t Cliff Huxtable.


Juanette said...

you.ignant. lol. I don't give Us but now I might!

Bird said...

LOL! That was funny. These kids don't understand....They will get it when they get older. I wished Iw as grown at that age and now I just want to go back to NeverNever Land....JEESH!