I Don't Want No Scrub!

Moral victory? Who made that up?  Who decided it was a good thing to shake the other teams hand after they beat the hell out of you?  That isn’t cool.

I was speaking with my sister-in-law as her kids played in the same league that Shaggyd00 played in.  Her youngest girl (she has 2) played on a really good team and regularly won.  She goes on to tell me that they let another team win because that team hadn’t won all year.  What?  Really?  She said it was good for the other girls to get a win; it would help to build their self esteem.  What?  Really?  Where they do that at?  As she told me the story, I looked at her like she had a dookie stain on the side of her face because we don’t do that where I come from. 

I wanted to tell her, F*%# those kids, F*%# the coaches, and F*%# the parents in the stands saying “good job girls!” (But, she’s a Christian woman so I couldn’t come at her like that.)  Really, your kid didn’t do anything!  How in the hell was it a good job.  Oh, I get it…..it was a coincidence that our best players just happened to trip running around the bases.  Oh, it’s just by chance that our girls didn’t hit the ball today.  Oh, it’s just by chance that our girls let the ball roll into the outfield.  Man…..it ain’t by chance that your sister, daughter, niece, is sorry as hell!   That is the issue.

Is it our team’s fault that y’all suck?  Practice harder. Get better players.  Don’t make us take a loss because your girls aren’t good enough to win.  Tell them to try another sport!  Maybe the coach sucked and they didn’t work on the things that they need to but don’t make our girls take a loss for y’alls sorry behinds. 

So, if I get in trouble at home and my dad is going to punish me it’s cool to say, “Oh, thanks for whoopin my ass dad.  I’ll see you next time.  I’ll bring my A game and wear thicker pants.” Hell naw!

Y’all know me; I’m not in denial at all.  My kid sucks. I attribute it to it being her first time ever playing but still, she ain’t no damn good.  It is what it is.  I promise you, I won’t be asking the other team’s pitcher to throw her some easy ones.  Hell no!  If she can’t hit the damn ball, her bad! 

“Oh, excuse me coach…uh…my daughter is pitiful at the game of softball and it would make her feel so great if she knew y’all aren’t trying and are letting them win.  Coach, her self esteem will be through the roof to know that you let her hit one.  Coach, she won’t earn it but you making her know she sucks even more than she does will be awesome. Thanks, coach. I really appreciate you making her think that she’s a good player when you and I both know she’s terrible.”  Hell naw!

I understand certain circumstances, I really do.  I saw a story on ESPN where the other team let a blind kid hit some free throws in a game.  I saw a story where a father ran his son, who was confined to a wheelchair, into the end zone after the other team said it was alright.  I get those types of stories.  Those are children who will never get the opportunity to compete in sports in a normal setting.  Those are touching stories and I would do it in a heartbeat if I were a coach.  But, just because you suck doesn’t mean that I am going to do it.  There’s nothing wrong with your team other than the fact that they need to practice and work harder.  Hell No!  Not on my watch!

BTW….I beat the hell out of her in Monopoly last night.  I tried to warn her.  I told her that I’m not letting her buy property, get by without paying, skip spaces, etc.  I ain’t giving her a damn thing.  She is going to work to be a better player at whatever she does and I’m not going to make it easy.  She’ll appreciate and understand it more later. What kind of lesson is that teaching her if I do?  You can suck at everything in life but eventually, someone is going to feel sorry for you and help you out.  Yeah, okay…..

 On a side note, she did ask why they have to shake hands after a loss.  I was proud at that moment because I’ve always hated that myself.  If I lose, I want to walk down the line and tell every person in the other jersey “F%#@ You and your damn parents!”  So, I don’t even think she would want a damn handout.  Gotta love it!
                                   

Anyway, y’all remember the episode where Rudy was going beast mode on the football field? Sweet Feet!  Well my kid is ‘Left Feet’ so by those standards, I ain’t Cliff Huxtable…….

Closed for Repairs.....

A couple weeks ago, I read a comment to one of my posts that had me a little beside myself.  My initial reaction was to comment back and say something ugly but I had to sit down and think about the context of the comments.  After reading it again, and again, and again, I can see where the reader was coming from.  While the comments still sting a little, there is truth and validity to them.  So, I figure I need to clear up a few things are set the record straight…..

I have gone in on my baby mama several times on this blog and in fairness, she hasn’t had the chance to defend herself of tell her side of the story.  Maybe the person who left the comment is a baby mama and is sticking up for her sister.  Maybe she is a woman that doesn’t like me slandering another woman.  Hell, maybe she was just having a bad day.  Whatever the reason, I took offense to it and I’m not sure if I should’ve.  The comments read as below:

“You are the one who had a kid with her! Oh and intelligence genes come from the mama. You are in for one hell of a ride.”

All of it is true, I think.  Not sure about the intelligence thing but I don’t want to take the time to research.  Yep, I had a kid with her so that probably knocks my intelligence meter down a notch. There were several factors into me having a kid with her:

1.       I was jobless, broke, and trifling as hell so I was living off of her.

2.       I was 20 years old and not very bright.

3.       The snacks were great at the time. (I won’t go into details but 20 yrs old + nothing but time = whipped) I’m just saying…..

So, needless to say, I set myself up for failure with that one.  On top of all of that, I saw the signs on the wall long before she was pregnant.  She didn’t get crazy 11 years later.  She’s been crazy for 32 damn years.  I’ve known the baby mama since I was 11 and not much has changed.  The elevator stopped on the 4^th floor then and it stops on the 4^th floor now. I won’t go into details about it all but when you ask someone else to count your change after you buy something because you want to know if it’s right, well, out of order elevator!  I knew all of this going in but I just didn’t walk away. 

My mama told me, my dad told me, everyone told me but I was “in love”. Man, please!  I was stuck on stupid and sliding on dumb! She had her son in high school and I didn’t hit the brakes then.  Hell, at that age I just figured that meant she was giving it up. I thought I was lucky.  Don’t get it wrong, there are plenty of women who have children in high school and turn out successful.  I say what I said to say, she didn’t take care of her son then, when I got with her, or now.  She didn’t defy the odds.  Nothing said, “Sean, don’t have a kid with this fool, she doesn’t even take care of the one she has”.  Nope, I heard something say “Face down, a** up, that’s the way we like to …….”

Maybe I deserve all of this crap I am getting from her.  I put her through hell when we were together.  I wasn’t a model person, baby daddy, or man.  Truth be told, I sucked.  But, I figured it out and I’m still working to be the best father I can be. I called the repair guy to get my elevator moving again.  Now, we’re in the penthouse and steady building.  As for her, you’re better off taking the damn stairs.

With all that said, yes, I am in for a hell of a ride.  Hell, the ride I’m on doesn’t have any seatbelts and I’m not sure if the brakes work.  Luckily, I have a good mechanic and she’s riding shotgun (godsfavoriteshoes.blogspot.com).  I’m Still trying to decide if I am going to give her the permanent job or not.  I’ve offered a couple of times but she wants a better benefits package.  Damn…..

All in all, I’m stuck with her ass (My baby mama, not my mechanic. I am going to keep my mechanic though.)!  I’m tired of getting off on the 4^th floor and walking to the 10^th while dealing with her but it ain’t up to me to fix it.  At this point, I think the parts are obsolete and that elevator can’t be fixed.  If the intelligence gene comes from the mother, I pray that lil mama got a skipped generation or something.  I can’t have her asking me if Alaska is a foreign country.

Well, I’m not perfect, haven’t always been a good father, and I’m definitely not an elevator repair man but, taking the stairs gets old.  Oh yeah, I ain’t Cliff Huxtable either…..