Just a Little Something Extra.....

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October 20, 2010

She’s Not Even a Teenager Yet!

I’ve been a father for a little bit over ten years now but I never would have guessed that I would be a single father. Honestly, I should’ve had this title a lot sooner but I wasn’t ready for the responsibility.  I am the father of a 10 year old girl and as I’m sure as some of you know, it is a challenge.  There was a point when her mother and I actually liked one another but….yeah.  I have toned my resentment for her down quite a bit but in case you need to understand, see the clip below.  (hee, hee, hee)
I gained custody of my lil mama back in August and it is nothing like I imagined.  NOTHING!
Man, this girl is crazy as hell!  She doesn’t like to bathe, comb her damn hair, brush her damn teeth, and to top it off, she got her lil visitor a few months ago.  I may not know what it’s like to go through it but I do know that it is nasty as hell if you don’t take care of stuff.  To her credit, there have been no MAJOR issues in that regard but I have to look at her with the side eye for a week each month.  I’ll digress on that subject…..
I don’t really know why she doesn’t like to brush her damn teeth but I can’t have yuck mouth running around my damn house either.  Breath smelling like butt crack.  What the hell!  I though little girls were supposed to want to smell fresh and be dainty.  Not mine.  She tries to have the dainty part down and she tries to be girly but it isn’t coming off right yet.  She likes fingernail polish and hair bows but she doesn’t like clothes or shoes.  She likes cheerleading and stepping but doesn’t like to comb her hair or iron clothes. Wait, she likes hair accessories but doesn’t like to comb it?   Again, WHAT THE HELL!
We’ve had some moments already and I’ll share those as the posts keep coming.  If not, CPS came and picked my ass up for kicking her in hers!
I haven’t hit her in the throat yet but she’s testing me something serious.  Okay, maybe that is a little harsh but we’re going to go blow for blow if she doesn’t get it together. 
I’m still trying to figure this parenting thing out but one thing is for sure, I ain’t Cliff Huxtable.


God's Favorite Shoes! said...

I might have to report you myself!

Anonymous said...

Can't stop laughing...oh my goodness. This is going to be good...

Anonymous said...

may the force be with you good man : )

Mellodee said...

Girls generally don't get the personal hygiene thing until they're about 12 or 13. Courage! You may have a lot worse ahead of you! LOL!

(I popped over from Go's Favorite Shoes.)

Anonymous said...

You'll be ok and so will she. Ten year's old? I just started combing my hair at 10. I didn't do a very good job so my single father sent me for a press and curl faithfully every 2 weeks. It was only $15 back then, but he never hesitated. Now that I think back it was kinda cool cause he indulged every girly whim I had. I mean I was going to regular nail appointments by the age of 15. It all paid off I guess. I turned into a fairly high maintenance woman. And hey, it's taking a lot for me to admit this.

Those hygene issues? Could be due to laziness (my kids suffer from this cause I have to stay on they asses) or lack of education. Just talk to her straight up about the issues or find someone who will for you. Now at 10 I would have been totally embarrassed to discuss this with my dad and even more so to discuss this with an outsider. My dad liked to push books. "you should read this" But he did it too much. This made me very open with my kids though because you will never catch me throwing a book at them to talk about personal things.

Sorry for posting a blog in your comments. But this took me right back to my childhood, lol.