Is there a scholarship for pretending to play?

It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you…..

Just like most fathers, you dream of your child growing up to be the next great athlete.  If you
have a son, you have dreams of him being like Lebron James, Ken Griffey Jr., or Michael Vick (insert joke). Daddies may dream of their little girl becoming the next Flo Jo, Candice Parker, or Jenny Finch. Ahhh…those dreams.

Well, at this point my friends, I’d be happy if my child was a great team equipment manager! I’m sure by now you see where I’m going so, here we go. 

In the pantheon of great athletes, my poor child was left on the outside of the stadium.  I should’ve known this because when we tried soccer, her favorite position was goalie!  Fast forward to now…we are trying our hand at softball.  As all of us know, the object of the game is to hit the ball, score runs, and keep the other team from scoring, just to name a few.  Well, we’ve scored a few runs and…..that’s it!   In practice, my lil mama hits the ball like Barry Bonds (less the back acne and shrinking balls) but in the game, SHE WON’T SWING THE BAT!  Every game she stands there like she is going to knock the hell out of the ball but it’s all an act. You should see her up there, it’s intimidating.  If I was the opposing pitcher I would be nervous.  Shag is bigger than most if not all of the girls and she crowds the plate.  She has a stance straight out of the majors and just by pure force she should be knocking the ball into the outfield….negative! She won’t swing.  But, will be happy as hell that she made it to base of four balls.  What in the hell!!!!!

I’m competitive dad and I want her to win, be the best, kick ass and take names.  Nope!  We just stand there and be the gentle giant that we are.  Sigh……

I have to accept that my child would rather draw circles in the dirt with a stick instead of exert energy.  I have to accept the fact that my child would rather play tag with the 6 & 7 years olds as opposed to being competitive with girls her age.  It’s a hard pill to swallow but, I guess I need to get a glass of water.

I know what you’re all going to say…encourage her, help her, it helps her confidence, blah, blah, blah…..I get it.  However, it doesn’t change the fact that my child is the biggest on her team and the damn worst!  Who does that?  I try to tell her to use her size to her advantage, does she?  Hell no!  Big damn teddy bear!

If you’ve read my blog in the past then you know my child isn’t the most academic and now we find out she’s not an athlete.  Man, I’m running out of choices.  Maybe she’ll be a rapper?  Maybe she’ll be an actress?  Hell, she may be the first African American female president.  Bush won, need I say more……

Well, we have a few games this week and I’ll be in the stands cheering, hoping, wishing that she get a hit as usual. Hell, I just want her to swing the damn bat.

Mr. Huxtable could swing, maybe I need to be more like him....who knows?